be married after graduation

2016-09-12 09:59

I’ve mentioned it a few times, and Mr. Archer openly outed me in his guest post, so it’s a little bit of now-or-never when it come to talking about waiting—my wait specifically. I’ve put it off as long as I could. I love things “pretty pink and blue”—that’s Mr. A’s phrasing for the fact that I like to pretend less-than-lovely things never happened. I’m not thrilled about owning up to my bad behavior, and I’m embarrassed that I didn’t always handle the wait with grace and poise. But patience is a virtue I’ve never had very much of.

I’m a planner. I like lists and timelines and agendas. Heading off to college, I planned to meet my husband, be married after graduation, and hustle on down to kids and picket fences by the time I was in my mid-20s. Clearly, I was delusional.

But all the while Mr. Archer and I were long distance, I was fielding questions about our timeline for moving and engagement, which was supremely frustrating when I was ready to take the next step and Mr. A seemed to be dragging his feet. When I moved, the inquiries went into overdrive. Every time I spoke to someone for the first time in a while, they asked—and I got really sick of telling people “when, if ever, Mr. A proposes.” We are also in that stage of life where lots of our friends are getting married or having children, so I got a lot of “Y’all are next!” and pointed comments about my bare ring finger at every wedding-related event.

Even my mother was part of the push—during one phone conversation with us, she told him “If you don’t hurry up and marry Miss Archer, she’s going to have to wear gray down the aisle.” As you can imagine, this all went over like a lead balloon, and really made me uncertain about our future. To add insult to injury, it seemed like every time I turned around, another friend was engaged—despite having a far shorter history with their partner than us. I knew rationally that comparing relationships was nonsense, but I am the first to admit that I was not behaving like a rational woman.

Part of it was that I felt insecure—like I had made this grand gesture of commitment, and he had done nothing but enjoy the convenience. Mr. A had made a few offhand comments about ignoring the timeline we had discussed before I moved (that he would propose within a year), so that did not help the situation any. I worried that he’d decide to call my bluff, so to say, and it would be ugly. Bottom line, I can be a bit of a control freak—and not only was I not in control of something I so desperately wanted, I didn’t have any idea of when (if ever!) it would happen.

I tell you all this to try and justify the way I sometimes acted when I was waiting. It wasn’t pretty, y’all. I melted down, multiple times. Generally spurred by a cocktail or seven, which is no excuse, but still. There was the wine-tasting party with a big group of friends—where we were the only unengaged/unmarried couple. I found him cornered by a few of my girlfriends at one point, and his answers to their queries were clearly insufficient—I cried the whole drive home that night. There was the veil fiasco, too—I’m blushing just thinking about it. At a dinner party at my recently married girlfriend’s home, the girls and I were being silly and tipsy and we decided to have me try on her veil. All was fun and games and giggles until Mr. Archer and her husband walked into the room to check on us—so awkward, made more so because I didn’t exactly remember the incident the next day. Oof. Any anniversary or special occasion made me tense; I wanted him to propose but knew he wouldn’t, and I sometimes let that sour my mood, which didn’t help his any. And there was that reallllyy embarrassing time, when I had a snit all of 24 hours before he proposed, when the ring was in his pocket. Yeah, not my finest moment.

Mr. A proposed about 10 months after I moved, within our timeline, though he claims that was not a factor. Those were 10 long months, though. Sometimes I wasn’t sure how things would turn out,好运一点通心水论坛, and frankly I’m not sure I would have proposed to me with the way I was acting! But he did, and all was well in the world—and I’m much more genuinely happy for newly engaged friends nowadays. ?

Was anyone else waiting, really waiting,公司供给良好的工作环境, for a proposal? Please tell me you acted like a crazypants too—I cannot be alone in my VERY impatient wait! I’ve shared my dirty laundry—did you have “waiting meltdowns” too?

Tags: new-orleansrelationships BLOGGER Mrs. Archer Location: Los Angeles/New Orleans Occupation: Marketing and Consultant Wedding Date: October 2012 Venue: the Columns Hotel --> PREVIOUS POSTI Got 99 Problems, but a Bride Ain't One NEXT POSTGallery of the Day Related Posts Nailed It: The Horseshoe Love Story03/14/16 @ 10:05 am Combining Households Is an Adventure05/18/16 @ 9:16 am A Millennial’s Guide to Premarital Counseling02/19/16 @ 8:03 am This One Is for You, Opa02/26/16 @ 8:31 am